Archive for January, 2013

Dragons: An Irrational Man

Fragments of a Dream #1

Late arrival, one may say;  love tasted, love lost.  Hesitating; wanting; waiting; painfully immersed in insurmountable fears. Should such “blessings” be so rare? Feelings of inadequacies lurking in the shadows. Being out-of-sync with the times is not easy; pounding rhythms of what was once alive, even healthy, gets no second chance. A death tree no longer able to replenish its foliage; fruits of remembrance lost senseless. Your passage through my life was like a hurricane, exceptional and destructive; hope demolished; desires, gone.

The emotional killings intense; your departure took most of what was worth living for, joys become unrecognizable – a constant emptiness. Yet; I wish I could to be 25th again; a new landing, clumsily finding my way out of the airport terminal; seeing your affectionate welcoming smile.

In between hidden tears I loved you as well; my love was large, at times awkward, unintelligible, and silent. Broken English, dictionaries, we walked mountains, valleys and deserts, holding each other up. You wrote a diary secretively, leaving its traces in a sprawling landscape of what used to be our home, for me to reconstruct, make sense of it all. Wasted time?

I celebrate the seeds of our love notwithstanding. Keeping a safe distance, burning candles in your memory, and occasionally marking family traditions, I still remember your perfume; your tender lips, the contours of your face, your green passionate eyes; and your touch after making love. Words; gestures; flesh and bones; luminosity of it all – you were my dragon, burning and reborn every year.

Intimately, if you must know, I remember you; each time I do, it hurts in return; true be told, the scars remain bleeding, despite the newest adventures in the bedroom. I have troubles to see now; sometimes I even forget to nourish my body; can’t remember last time I bathe. It must be my age showing. Must get my head checked. It’s an empty household, incomplete and forever longing. I know you have rebuilt your life; predictably you have found a new set of mirrors, ghostly reflections talking. Me? I miss you, still. –

© Leo Campos Aldunez

Edmonton, AB (Canada)


Song: Into The Mystic, 1971

© Van Morrison, Moondance

Song: Il Faut Savoir

© Charles Aznavour 1962